Thursday, December 01, 2016

Cafune, caresses and healing

Standing on the deck of the boat, ready to jump in the Atlantic Ocean, my heart was beating with excitement, let it go it said, and that's what i did. 
Visited the little quiet coastal town paraty, 6 hours away from São Paulo. The streets designed by Portuguese were such that in the night, the sea water would fill the streets and would go away in he morning, washing it away, all its dirt and maybe memories. A group of us, who participated in Giftival, came here for 2 days. In togetherness it was celebration and fun. Just one drink would make me drunk, but I was ready to let it all go, ready to immerse to little bit of everything life was bringing my way, without judging or being hard on myself, guided by desires, and personal nourishment. 
'Who would you be, if you stopped trying be a good person.', Charles asked this question, why do we believe that if we stopped trying to be a good person we will be a bad person, what's the source of these ethics, is the natural behavior of a human being bad ? What happens when we let it go, completely, trusting life, guided by its beauty. 

'How do we open our hearts', I asked orland, 'by making a contact', he replied. Extending my hands, feeling the cold winds and little rain drops on my face, I asked the ocean, 'give me the depth like yours so I can increase my capacity to love'.  'will you be able to manage it', the goddess replied, then pls give me the capacity to hold it, I requested. I deeply felt the presence of the ocean, and the trees in the little islands. Experienced the silence of little caves, as I reached there swimming , away from the boat. Had lunch with the family who has been living in the island for 3 generations. Brazil touched me, it caressed me, and it also did in many various other ways. I also discovered , the beauty and power of touch in this trip, as I gave head massages to people, with prayer, it felt healing to them and me as well. 
Many shared that how it washed away something heavy inside them, melting whatever was not needed. Each touch reminded me of baba hacibektash and its blessing. 
Made so many friends along this trip that I wonder if we will remember each other later on,  but maybe it is not required, each moment of our meeting is complete in itself, the energy of love, manifests again and again through different people and things. Keep your heart open, keep making contact, and then let it go with a blessing in your lips and warmth in your heart. 
On my way to the forests of Alta Paraiso, it's considered to be healing place with crystals and waterfalls. I still long to goto Amazons one day but maybe in the next trip. For now each step is being guided, by the power which is there all around us and most importantly in our hearts. 

warriors without weapons

Warriors without weapons 
It's been three days in the Giftival, feel so full, so rich and wholesome. Everyday I would want to write what happened, the impressions in heart, the learnings of mind, and the growth of spirit and yet by the end of the day I would feel so tired that I would just crash in my bed. 
Each interaction changes us, our presence is evolved with every passing moment. 
Are you a dreamer someone asked me, 'yes I am', I replied, I dream to be able to love fearlessly, completely without holding back, I dream to be able to feel in every cell of my body our deep interconnection, our oneness. I dream to really look in each other's eyes and say honestly, without expectation, 'I love you'.  
From holding various circles around the discussion about gift, to visiting  local communities in the slums of Santos, to dancing in samba tune, we came together in playfulness or 'Mastiyog', as Manish bhai would lovingly call it. 

Towards Brazil

'Miracles are the payment you receive for your failures' Charles shared today, the first day of Giftival Brazil. 
After a long 30 hour flight via Abu Dabhi, I reached São Paulo yesterday evening. Met Bayo in the flight and together we went to one event to meet Manish. Found ourselves in a circle talking about unlearning and education, stayed in Lala's beautiful home, where each object had a story to tell. 
I woke up at 4am, partly jet lagged and also could be a dream. It was raining softly outside, in hope to see the full super moon I went out but then came back due to cold. It was a super full moon yesterday, the closest it has come to earth in many years and thus it looks quite big. I saw a glimpse of it on the plane, and for moment I felt I was dreaming, it looked so beautiful and almost like a shining soft sun. 

Reached via cab to Santos. Our driver too had a incredible story to share, he had met with an hit and run accident 7 years ago and was in coma for several days, with very small chances to survive he made through with courage and perseverance. 
I am bit sleepy writing this blog and thus feel it is devoid of emotions as i am finding it difficult to concentrate. Yet will make an attempt :)
Today was the first day of Giftival. An amazing group of people from various parts of the world have come together to explore gift culture and community living. 

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Shabri's berries

An event full day, in a unexpected election results, Trump became the president of United States today and to curb black money from the Indian economy, Rs 500 and Rs 1000 was removed. Some say it is like birthing a new world with labor pains. What seems wrong now could be a blessing in a future, with shiva energy, taking away what is not needed causing chaos and uncertainty in the process. After every storm comes a new dawn, a new day, a new sunrise. How do we prepare ourselves to see that and embrace it. 
I am in my parents village Seorinarayan, came for a puja ceremony. Was feeling quite odd and out of space. My grandparents were crying looking at me, asking me to come back, and my grandfather thinks I have failed in life. It pierced my heart and yet I felt love for him, for his helpless state, for his expectation from me, from others and from life. I pressed his feet, remembering my childhood when he used to tell me stories, and this time it helped him empty his heart. Just an hour before I met an uncle in the village who believes I am the pride of the entire village, I met his sanyasi teacher who said I am in the path of supreme spirituality. So many perspectives, so many ideas of your own self seen from different people. Who am I beyond all these judgements, all these labels, can I still follow my heart without being affected by both praise and insult. 
Like shabri I offer my half eaten berries with love... for some it is devotion and for some its untouchable. 

Wednesday, November 09, 2016

Empty Cupboard

Every year During my boarding school days, before I would leave for home for holidays, I would have to pack my things, my bed and empty my cupboard. After each term I would have a new room, a new cupboard and new friends. The memories of it came back as I do the same in sughad before leaving for another trip. 
Spent the entire day today with Reva, we went for a trolls, danced in the car, shared the same story again and again of the movie of why a certain character did what he did, how happiness is within and when sad it turns our body grey (from the movie). Reva teaches me non attachment. Learning to savor every hug, every dance move and every moment with her as the time comes soon to say good bye for another trip. When meghna's dad asked me today, so what work are you doing nowadays? I hesitated and as I was preparing my answer, Reva proudly said, he travels, he is a traveler. Wonder what influence this nature of mine will have on her life but for now she seemed to have beautifully accepted it and also seems to be supporting it. 

Sunday, November 06, 2016

Gifts of the underworld

Last night in my dream I saw a snake fighting with another animal trying to save his child. I was witnessing them fighting and saw myself giving healing to the snake through my hands. The snake was badly injured and almost close to death. I bought some water but felt bit afraid to go close to him and thus threw the water at him from distance but then immediately felt a strong feeling of remorse. Next I got another bowl of water and gave it to the baby snake, which now had turned into a baby girl. Next I remember I went looking for Jayesh Bhai asking his help and someone told me that he is in some sport event. I found him sitting somewhere in a lobby, hugging a child, probably the same baby snake. I could only see the legs and lower half of the child, as the upper half was covered in a shawl. It felt as if Jayesh bhai was comforting her. 
I wonder what what this dream meant. Snakes are a strong totem/ metaphors in a dream. I usually don't remember a dream but it was vivid the entire day today. Some say that our dreams are a gift from the underworld to initiate us into next realm, it gives us a message for the path which needs to emerge. 
I was also reminded of my healing experience in Haci Bektash, Turkey.
We are all healers, as we believe so we become. 

Saturday, November 05, 2016

preparing for another journey

So I got my Brazil Visa. All I needed to do was submit just one invitation letter with attestion. The sudden trip to delhi may not have been needed but at times you cannot explain why certain things happen. And there are times when you have to pay a price or pass a test to show life that you are ready to embrace another journey. However the time in Delhi was very well used, met many old and new friends, learned about social initiatives and saw the beauty of our diversity. I have come to appreciate every conscious effort towards service, be it activism or meditation. The duality is in our mind. We are all moving towards love, the only difference is either we are aware of it or not. With awareness comes acceptance which then leads to transformation.
As I came back, brother zilong who has been on a pilgrimage to east gifted his tent to me. A symbolic gift, reassuring that everywhere is a home, you carry it with you, in your heart. Last two days before I departure to Chattisgarh and then to Brazil for 3 weeks. Spending time with little Reva, playing games which are often directed by her without much room for my inputs or revisions, which makes me admire her creative confidence. Through stories we connect and relate with each other. Probably another storyteller in making, I smile.
And ahhh this is my 200th post... Hope to continue my promise of one post every day.

Thursday, November 03, 2016

sharing blessing

The sky turned crimson with the rising sun, passenger in my right reading Hanuman Chalisa, And I am writing this blog, sitting in the flight towards delhi. Suddenly been called for an interview for Brazilian visa. Recently finished reading 'Celestine Prophecy', based in Peru, talking about coincidences and energies, I wonder what calls me to South America. After little resistance from me and insistence from the Giftival friends, with my flight fully paid and trip supported for, I feel deeply grateful for to be able to have these blessings and to be able to travel, to meet different communities and diverse voices. 
A monk once told me, 'what do you do when you receive blessings ?, you feel grateful and share it forward'. What a beautiful practice it could be, to cultivate the art of sharing blessings. Last night it was a friend's birthday and we reflected the meaning of her name, Arpita, it means that which is offered, a sacred offering. Imagine our life to be like a constant sacred offering to others. Reminds me of Broom, which too is like that, always ready to be offered to whoever wants to clean with it. Living to be present to that which needs to be emerged and manifested. And that's swagyan, in tune with your own heart, polishing it day in day out, cocreating with the universe. 

Heart Space

Early in the morning as I sat alone in the garden in Sughad, looking at the peace pole ahead of me, I was suddenly filled with rush of excitement. I scribbled in my diary, "I am dreaming of a heart space. A space to do fearless experiments of love and explore self truth." 
Gandhi ji called his autobiography 'my experiments of truth', today I feel that rooted in our self truth, can we do fearless experiments of love? Just truth can be like a sharp knife, harming oneself and the other, there's one universal truth and yet there are many subjective truths based on each one's unique self and understanding. Misunderstanding of truth can divide us and love will always unite us. So I am dreaming of a space where we can deeply connect with our own self and with each other, with out judgement, in pure love. 
Inspired by dear friend Deepa, I promised myself to write daily for 40 days reflecting my thoughts and learnings on building towards that, and today is the first day, first little step. Towards it, towards swagyan. 

Tuesday, November 01, 2016

Accumulating Love

May we continue to walk in the path of love, in the service of the whole. Here Vinoba Bhave shares his journey towards love.


Meera Ba recently shared a story, that one day Gandhi ji expressed to have a picture of Om in his room. When the artist asked him, how would he like it, Gandhi Ji told him to go and consult Vinoba Bhave. The artist then consulted Vinoba for colors, shape and design and drew a picture. After Gandhi ji passed away, the picture was gifted to Vinoba and although Vinoba never had any pictures or images, he kept this picture of Om with him always in his room in Paunar Ashram, and even during his Bhoodan walking pilgrimage. After many years this original picture of Om was discovered, as shown below.