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"Jump and the net would appear", I had always believed. Left India to find my passion and became a filmmaker in US, and then left US to find my stories and became a wanderer in India. With a gifted camera and free spirit, life took me from one ashram to another, made me humbled in presence of one teacher to another till finally one of them said " go find your truth"....in an effort of doing that..one story at a time :)

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Fear makes you alive..

I like my life... I wondered. who would have thought following your dreams would take you here. They always scare you, scare you of being crushed by reality of our imaginations, they scare you I thought, because they too are afraid, afraid of accepting who they are. A famous writer once said "fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself", so let me suffer with joy, I reminded myself.

I liked my life... because everyday would hold little mysteries for me, people I met or things I did. Everything was so unpredictable and yet arranged so synchronically. Every moment I unwrapped, I found a little gift inside.

I liked my life... sometimes so much that it would really make me afraid, afraid of illusions I have built around me but then heart responds, isn't everything an illusion and aren't we creating our own world where we live ?

and yet again I am reminded of the poem I read in my class " To put meaning in one's life may end in madness, But life without meaning is the torture of restlessness and vague desire"

So I continue to like my life with it's fears and desires because thats what makes me alive...

3 comments:

Harmanjit Singh said...

to "put" meaning in life (that is well put indeed, for there is no inherent meaning in life) is not madness, it is the way to stave off madness.

the torture of meaninglessness is the only authentic and true way to live, but i can understand why that is not an altogether charming choice.

sheetal said...

this is one of the most beautiful lines i have heard in a long time madhu...

thanks for sharing this...

"Every moment I unwrapped, I found a little gift inside."

Vivek Kumar said...

Nice article, Madhusudan...

Liked it.